Miscellaneous Heathen

You wouldn't think that "signs in a parking garage" could actually be neat, but, well, you'd be wrong.

Everything2 explores the question "Assuming transubstantiation is correct, how long before the entire biomass of the earth is made of Jesus?"

(Kottke, again.)

This makes us laugh.

Apparently, someone thought this cake would be an excellent way to commemorate successful atomic weapon tests. Ouch.

Amusingly, it turns out that Dana Gould now owns Roddy McDowell's old house, which is where this story happens: I can't die this way. It's too funny!

(Via JWZ.)

How about a (somewhat, but not completely) exhaustive timeline of Internet memes? Neat. Mahir, Spirit of Christmas, the Oracle of Bacon, Hampsterdance, All Your Base, etc, it's all there. Seeing many at once seems to emphasize the weird.

So the takeaway is that Jesus is like getting electrocuted?

Seriously, dude. WTF.

So, what's better?

• Zombies reading haiku, accompanied by jazzy sax interludes?

or

• The inevitable Zombie dating site ZombieHarmony.com? ("Please date responsibly; bring a bat or crowbar.")

Listen to this, and then listen to it again. The tone will continue to sound like it's getting higher and higher, when -- obviously, since you're just replaying the same clip -- it's actually exactly the same over and over.

HeathenCat Bob wouldn't put with this shit.

Former DC resident that she is, Mrs H has been following not so much the Nationals as their enormous felt president mascots' legraces and the shenanigans that ensue -- and in particular the shockingly unjust treatment of our 26th president. Or the felt facsimile thereof, anyway. LET TEDDY WIN!

A Japanese construction firm has a new way to demolish old buildings. They start at the bottom. No, really. They do it a floor at a time, and then lower the remaining floors with huge jacks that replace the support columns. Lather, rinse, repeat. It's apparently much more cost effective, and makes much less of a mess. There's video.

But, as we noted: no boom. We like boom.

Monkey Bartenders.

In the afternoon of deck-clearing, we find this MeFi post which refers to this NYT story about a New York apartment remodeling job that included, unbidden, a sequence of puzzles the owners eventually figured out. There's a slideshow as well. File under "what you can get for $8 million," we reckon, but it's still cool as hell. I mean, hello: secret compartments! Codes! What's not to like?

Seen in Los Angeles.

There's some gold in the comments, btw.

Ducks.

(Via MeFi.)

I just want to type the phrase coathanger gorilla. I mean, who can resist?

NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.

Ol' Rob found us two new cartoons from Married to the Sea. Enjoy.

At work? Band's day off? Next time someone comes a-calling with a bad joke, or perhaps a tale of woe, you'll be prepared -- thanks to the Intarnets!

These hairdos make me vaguely uncomfortable. (Thx, Rob.)

He also found this fine poolside photo of, we kid you not, Tippi Hedren, her pet lion, and her daughter Melanie. We will not make the obvious why-didnt-the-lion-bite joke.

NYT: A Tiny Fruit That Tricks The Tongue:

CARRIE DASHOW dropped a large dollop of lemon sorbet into a glass of Guinness, stirred, drank and proclaimed that it tasted like a “chocolate shake.”

Nearby, Yuka Yoneda tilted her head back as her boyfriend, Albert Yuen, drizzled Tabasco sauce onto her tongue. She swallowed and considered the flavor: “Doughnut glaze, hot doughnut glaze!”

They were among 40 or so people who were tasting under the influence of a small red berry called miracle fruit at a rooftop party in Long Island City, Queens, last Friday night. The berry rewires the way the palate perceives sour flavors for an hour or so, rendering lemons as sweet as candy.

The "magic" substance in the berries is a protein called -- we're not making this up -- "miraculin", which we think is hilarious. Get us some.

This guy does high-quality paintings based on children's drawings. The effect is deeply odd. (Via MeFi.)

Step 1: Achewood, April 28, 2006

Step 2: Wired News, May 16, 2008

The Vatican's astronomer has stated that it's okay to believe in aliens.

We can't decide what's more ridiculous: that the Vatican, with its science-hostile history, has an astronomer, or that there are people in the world who felt relief that their faith in little green men wasn't at odds with their desire to be good little Catholics.

How 'bout some MEATWATER?

Heathen Brothers, do you hunger for some way to gauge you wife's quality? Look no further.

However, if you decide to share this find with your beloved, we recommend that you do so only after enjoying as much sex as you're likely to want until roughly 2010.

ManBabies. SFW; it's just photoshop swaps of heads between dads and babies, but that sentence in now way communicates precisely how weird and creepy the results are.

Chron: 3 accused of using corpse head to smoke pot.

Via JWZ: It's not a compound.

This is conceivably useful, in the event you suddenly need to find a 7,267 mile drive in North America. Just in case.

1. An opera about the Donner Party.